Putting it out there

I know. My jaw drops every time I see a picture form my past. I am the blonde! This pic is from 2005. Most of you dont know this, but I wasnt always ME. The ME you know. I was hidden under a lot of extra weight. This picture was given to me at a family function last week. Why? I thought I gotten rid of all my fat pictures and had instructed my family to destroy any they had. My sister never listens. When she handed it to me she said " remember this person?"I said "Bitch", and I meant her.

My mom has always said " Dont ever forget where you came from". I now understand that and am a firm believer in the statement. When I see this picture I experience many different feelings, at the same time. I feel embarrassed ,depressed, and angry that I ever let myself get that way. After that passes I feel proud, happy,healthy and successful. I am not that person any more. If you had told 'that' girl she would be a mountain biker and an endurance racer she would have laughed at you, raised a Budweiser and blew smoke in your face. Yes I am an ex-smoker, 6 years and counting.

Everyone has a starting point. This was mine. I never looked in the mirror so I really didnt see this. I wore size 18-20 pants and shared my husbands XL shirts. It was a very unhappy time in my life that lasted about 7 years. I had gone from running marathons to running to the fridge. Long story a bit shorter, I got hurt at work and busted an ankle. After surgery I was told I would never run again. I became depressed immediately. I ate a lot , felt sorry for myself, and became an angry monster. I made those around me just as miserable. Poor Jim . When he married me I was 125 and a size 5. I am very lucky he stuck by me. It is not any easy task to lose weight and it did not happen over night for me. If it was easy obesity would not exist. First, I had to change my mind . I had to relearn that I was worth it, deserved it, and wanted it all. Baby steps.... I made lifestyle changes, no diets. The book "The Body for Life" was an important tool for my success.

I have several reasons for posting this. Sometimes you have to look back before you can move forward. I am stepping out of my comfort zone this year and find it helpful to remember where I started. I am glad this pic made its way back to me. I will keep it as a reminder . A reminder that hard work is always rewarded. I would suggest that if you are going on a journey yourself, take pictures, keep them and look at them often.

My main motivation to stay healthy is my family . I want to be the mom that my kids are proud of.. The wife that Jim deserves. And , when the time comes, the grandparent that goes mountain biking and backpacking with their grandkids. My secondary motivating factor is the goals I have set for myself this year. There is no way I can achieve them if I am not healthy.

I also hope to provide inspiration for those who need it. I want to be a personal trainer in 2012. I want to show people that if I can do it they can do it. I know those are just words, but when you back them up with action they equal success. I hit the reset button at age 38. It is never too late to change. This year I will be 42 , Healthy , Happy, and riding my bikes. Bring it 2011.