Sunday, July 11, 2010

Why Me?

LEAVES OF THREE "leave them be"

Since the entire universe of cyclists read Team Seagals blog, I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight and even risk being know as "the chick that had poison ivy in her vag". So, after you are done laughing I will give you an education. Poison Ivy is no joke. People who are allergic know the suffering I speak of. There was no physical training this week. Very frustrating after just getting back on the bike 2 weeks ago. However, a lot of mental training was attained and will be tapped later this year.

I don't know how I got the ivy. I am glad it was me instead of my daughter. We were playing in the same rocks and water all weekend. I got it on Sat, the 3rd.  By Mon. the 5th it started bothering me, big time. My Dr. was not open due to the holiday. Shit. The rash on my stomach I can deal with.  But the " inconvenient location" was something I was really having trouble sucking up. By Tues. I would have done anything to stop this torture. Even something Stupid.

Copied off thr internet

I decided to give google a try and see if there was anything I could do to alleviate the itching and burning that was now consuming me. That was a huge mistake. People often post anything and everything on the net and when you are desperate you will often believe it. This one guy posted that he got in the tub and covered himself in bleach and then followed it up with some rubbing alcohol. He said he felt it helped the itch, however had a piece of advice for those planning to follow in his footsteps. He suggested that you lay down in the tub, so while you are going through this mind numbing pain that you will not fall and knock yourself out like he did. I am not that adventurous so I passed on that one. I then researched some home remedies. Aloe, didnt have any. Ice, very very cold. Vinegar. Thats it. I put a small amount on my belly. Not too bad. Slight tingle. Wait 15 seconds. Apply to everywhere "down there". Ok. Should I have diluted the vinegar? Wait. Oh no!! Thats my stomach on fire. That means, OOOOOh. I am only glad that no one saw the show I put on. This is by far the dumbest and most painful thing I have done yet. Tears streamed down my face while I jumped around trying to get air moving "down there". I know that you are enjoying this. Its ok. Now that its almost over, I can appreciate how hilarious it really is. 

The following are my suggestions if you find yourself with poison ivy. 

1. Clean your skin immediately with soap, water, spit, beer, anything you can get you hands on
this will help get the oils of the ivy off of your skin. TECNU is a good wash to have on hand

2. Burn those clothes. Never wear them again.

3. Cut your fingernails. Oil will be hard to remove from them, so just cut them off.

4. Go to your Dr. immediately if you have it on or near your "business"
You will most likely get a steroid shot that will smart a bit, some cream,{ that you can not use on your genitals} and a script for some Prednisone.
The only thing you can use to get relief is Calamine lotion. Keep it in the Fridge. Cold feels good.

5. Do not do anything that will make you sweat. Seriously. You will itch like crazy.

6. Take all your meds and it will be over in about 9 days if you are lucky.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry I included that tidbit in that post. Don't hate me.