Sunday, May 24, 2015

Hairy Hundred 2015

The Hairy Hundred is neatly placed two weeks before the Dirty Kanza.  It is the final chance for me to see where I am at training and nutrition wise.  Having only two races under my belt before DK makes me a little nervous, but it's the same amount I had last year so.... Not actually 100 miles but 93 dam miles with about 6,000 ft of elevation. The course is nothing crazy until you add the weather. Hey, it's Missouri, anything can happen and usually does.

I met Hunter in the dark parking lot at 5:15am.  Sheeit, that is early, especially after getting about 4 hours sleep.  Within minutes our chariot pulled up, complete with driver. Steve seemed to be in good spirits and Derek said he feared he was still drunk.  The drive started innocent enough, we are chatting away and then the weather comes.  Rain!  What the heck?  I squirmed in my seat.  I became uncomfortable immediately and wished that I had a tarp to cover my Warbird.  He's gettin' wet!

I will apologize now for the lack of pictures.  My phone stopped ringing two weeks ago and didn't like me taking photos a few days after. As of now, the camera issue has been solved however it still does not notify/ring  when I receive a text or phone call.  Go figure.

We arrive in plenty of time to check in and get in uniform. I put on my Extreme Electrical kit and butt'r up.  It was still drizzling on and off,  I pulled out my rain jacket, put it on and then decided I didn't want to wear it.  If it rains then I will get wet, don't care.  There were about 70 of us lined up.  I look to my right and told Steve "if you guys get done before me and need to leave just toss my stuff in Nathan's truck".  The rain stops completely while Michelle says a few words about the course.  She was given major props for this event since she put a lot of time and effort into it.  Thanks Michelle, we appreciate it! Shortly after  I hear, "It's a little after 8, so GO" so we went. The mass of cyclists picks up speed and has me start out faster than normal.  My plan is simple.... ride with the group as long as I can and then ball it out on my own.  

It was just a few miles in on the Katy Trail and a downed tree put me off the back end of the group. Damn, hadn't planned on being on my own so quickly.  Suck it up!  The wind has made it's presence known, it's going to be a long day. I survived last year, I will survive this year. Hope I find someone to ride with. By 'with' I mean next to, to talk to and keep me company. I have several things to figure out during this ride.  Such as:  Am I happy with my tires?  Is my mental game on?  Is my fuel going to work? 

I try not to think about riding the wet gravel.  I can feel it coating my legs, hitting my elbows, spraying straight up onto my butt, inbetween the seat and smashing it firmly into my shammy.  Mmmmm, gravel goodness. I hear the pings of the rocks as they ting off my new bike.  Sorry buddy.  These are just battle scars, you will get used to it.  There were a couple places that had flooded, not too much though as we were able to pedal through it.  My feet were soaked early on but my shoes dry relatively quick.

A couple hours in you could really notice the temperature change.  Yay, it's starting to heat up and add just a twinge of humidity.  Nice!  And wouldn't you know it, that wind hasn't let up, not one bit. Super!  Around mile 25 or so I spot Steve and make it a goal to stay with him, insuring my ride home.  My plan was just to keep him in sight.  I roll up next to him and after a few words realize that he did a 100 mile road ride the day before and he is on a singlespeed.  My good feeling about my riding quickly deflates as I realize that this is the only way I can keep up with him, but I will take it.  The bike is good, I feel good, fuel is good, wind still sucks.

Steve and I ride side by side for hours. Those of you who know Steve know he can be inappropriate, cantankerous, and sometimes highly offending.  We chat about our spouses, bikes, jobs, etc..  He spots a lone chica ahead of us and he mentions I should step up the pace and catch her.  Steve is very entertaining and must have been on his best behavior.  I think he said the word 'dick' about 7 times but that was it. We each said our share of F words so those don't count. 

The wind was unrelenting, we got a 1 1/2 minute break when we turned a corner into town, that was it. Steve's company kept me talking and pedaling, he laughed when I screamed at the wind to STOP.  It didn't work but it was worth trying.  Within the last ten miles we spot the Walt's girl, she has been back and forth with us several times.   She pushes her bell as she passes us, kind of salt in the wound if you ask me, LOL.  She makes a wrong turn before she hits the Katy back, we have no idea where she is going.  Sooner than later, with about 5 miles to go I hear that f*cking bell again.  She passes us seemingly effortlessly.  I figure I have about 20 years on her, oh to be young again.  
Steve says "grab my wheel, I think I can close the gap".  I pedal and start to really 'get on it' and then back off.  I tell him "nah, if I catch her I want it to be by my own power.  I won't let you drag me to her".  My goals in this race have been met, I did this on my own, under my own power. I try my best to catch her, it's not happening.  I watch her fade off into the distance.  (Way to push Annette!)  

As we pull through the tunnel I see Steve hit his brakes and track stand.  We had a deal to finish together and here he goes pulling this kind of sh!t.  He bumps me over the line.  Whatadick!
We finished in just over 7 hours and I 'm pleased with that.  What is exceptionally cool is the fact that I still had a lot of fight left in me.  Wind be damned, I could have gone another 100.  Having been one of the 1/3 of the riders to finish DK in 2013 (only 331 out of  1000 finished)  I know what it takes to get through the wind.  Strong mental game and a good sense of humor.

Next up... THE DIRTY KANZA!!!




Thursday, May 14, 2015

Fifty Shades of Frustration

Is writing about being frustrated going to frustrate me further?  Let's find out.



frus·tra·tion
frəˈstrāSH(ə)n/
noun
  1. the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.


Today I turned myself inside out, or at the very least that is what it felt like.   I hit the Katy Trail at 930am, a full hour later than I had wanted.  I HAD some work to do and it couldn't wait. (frustration)
To add to it, I  stayed up too late last night and shared a couple of awesome beers with my hubby. (only 1/2 frustration)
 Six freaking days have passed since I have ridden my bike, due to various reasons that will be revealed later. (frustration)  As I began pedaling I wasn't feeling it... (frustration) and then something my husband said to me clicked in my brain. He said that most, if not all training rides should be uncomfortable in one form or another.  That being uncomfortable is what will prepare me for the Big Show.  Training rides are basically mini wars with the mind and body.  All you have to do is survive.  These are moments that build up your mental game and you can also find out what works and what doesn't.  If you don't practice 'in the darkness' how are you going to deal with it?






Just like a lot of you reading this..... I am frustrated.  Bike frustration!  Before you get too carried away thinking this post is going to be one long bitch session I can assure you it is not.  I take full responsibility for every decision.  I haven't figured out how to be in two places at once yet so I have had to make some frustrating choices.  I know I am not alone in this.   I received a text today that read "I'm just so tired of having to be responsible for so many things and not doing what I want to be doing.  It's starting to wear on me bad".  I texted back  that he was preaching to the choir.  I know full well of what he speaks.  Being responsible includes being a good human and doing the right thing in spite of what you really want to do. Don't misunderstand.  I do not regret any of my choices of family over the bike.   I missed Maises Pride in Kansas because my Mother in law only turns 65 once (and I like her) plus Jim has not been cleared to drive.  It was the correct choice to make but still frustrating. Another example, I had a longish ride scheduled for yesterday until I received a phone call from my son's girlfriend.  She was in desperate need of a sitter for the exact time block of my ride. It was a no brainer.   I really like her and one day that little boy may be my grandson. Still frustrating.



I have witnessed frustration in my own home.   I'm sure that Jim, five weeks post-op, would really like to ride his bike. I know he misses it.  At the Brommelseik race I watched a friend limp across the park from having  knee surgery.  He's frustrated. However, he has most likely been given clearance to ride the trainer by now.  (frustration)  I know a few cyclists fighting a nasty neck twinge. (frustration) With just weeks to go until DK this type of nagging pain is worrisome.  Makes one question if they can survive the mileage with such an issue.  I can't imagine enduring constant neck pain while riding gravel for 200 miles. (beyond frustration)   I know injuries suck. I've been there, several times, and  I get it.  However, I wonder which is worse; being injured and not being able to ride or being able bodied and not being able to ride because something constantly comes up. It's a balancing act either way I look at it.




Can a certain amount of frustration actually be good for any athlete? Possibly.   Not getting what you want, when and how you want it is all part of the master plan.  It's good mental training for shit to go sideways and rides not to go exactly your way.  Good training rides that boost your confidence through the roof are just as necessary as those bad rides that make you question why you even ride a bike at all. Mental training is a necessary evil so it's good to have some experience with it.  Frustration is definitely mental training.  


 After giving it some thought, could all of these frustrations actually be days of recovery?  Days that were  not factored in to rest and recover during the week?  Or possibly these choices are karma building opportunities, chances to be a good human.  Perhaps the moment to be the most awesomest wife or Mother.  My daughter is nine and has quite a bit going on in her world.  I want/need to be present at her stuff. I don't want to miss a soccer game, gymnastics, or after school activities.  She is growing up so quick and I don't want to miss anything.

  



Although my pedal had started out miserably I was able to set and meet the two goals I had made for the ride.  AC/DC's "For Those About To Rock"  was the first song to come on my Ipod.   It had to be a sign, a sign to get serious and really push.  So, that is what I did, I pushed, as hard as I could.  I wanted to see how fast I could go and how long I could maintain it for 50 miles. I also wanted to hit 16mph and maintain it for as long as possible.  The wind howled in my ears as the music flooded my brain.  I tired to keep tempo to the beat of the music, gear up or gear down as necessary.  It was windy and only 74 degrees. Why was I sweating?  Possibly the beers?


Long story short I managed to average 15.8 for 22 miles.  I kicked it up a notch over the next eight miles and brought my average to 16.2.  My average ended up settling at 15.3 for 53 miles.  The good news is that last year I did the exact same 50 miles and it took me 10 minutes longer, so I beat my time by 3 miles and 10 minutes or about 20 minutes faster!  Yay for progress!! Or is it the Warbird?



I tried a new fuel source also, CarboRocket 333, raspberry flavor.  Momentum Cycles carries it for a reasonable price and it comes highly recommended so I thought I would give it a whirl.  I mixed 3 scoops in each water bottle as directed and it was the perfect blend.  I do not care for sugary or sweet drinks, it was not sugary/sweet at all.  Just a faint hint of raspberry flavor, just the right amount in my opinion.  I sipped on the bottles regularly throughout the morning and can say it was a success.  No stomach problems, no jitters from the caffeine, and the taste was good.  I will use it at the Hairy Hundred this weekend and see how it performs.  I hope to have found my nutritional piece of the puzzle.


Keep on graveling,
Wendy and the Warbird















Saturday, April 25, 2015

99.9, Wind and The Warbird



Spring! 



"You are  not getting any faster sitting there looking at me", he said.  "You should go" he reiterated.   That's how my husband was trying to get me out of the house to do a one hour spin class.  He had rotator cuff surgery on Monday and I wasn't sure if I should be leaving him yet, it didn't feel right.  Jim convinced me he would be fine and shooed me out the door.  On the short drive to class I thought maybe I should give up my spot for the DK.  I should be taking care of my husband, not riding my bike.  Jim needs me, right?




 Just ten days later the doc informs us that Jim's healing is going very well and to sit tight for another month until we start physical therapy. Oh JOY!  I am grateful that his pain is minimal and he is getting up and around more each day, we did a short hike 5 days post op.  Jim has been enjoying some great hikes, mushroom hunts, and is currently working from home.  Since he is doing so
well...... 

On Sunday night I asked him if I could get in a long ride the following day, Monday.  I asked if he would be able to take care of himself and keep up on his meds while I was gone.  He convinced me that he would be fine and before he changed his mind I planned for a century. Riding 100 miles on a whim, why not?  I had to get this party started already.... It would be my first of the year.

Made my rice cakes too big, learning experience.

  While getting my gear/bike together I prepared some rice cakes to try as a fuel source. Jim checked  the weather and informed me that it was supposed to be high 40's to low 60's, not awful, just that difficult temp window for me to dress properly.  Is that temp with or without sun? LOL   Jim then belly laughed and told me that the wind was predicted to be 20mph gusting to 40mph, basically all day.  I went to bed thinking I could be a pansy and scale back the ride if it was too windy. I would need to remember to delete all my posts about it off FaceBook.

That's my "lets get down game face"


After putting my 3rd grader on the bus I loaded my bike, gear and made Jim breakfast.  I asked again if it was okay for me to be gone all day and he said yes, so I jetted.  Pulling into the Research Park parking lot I see one car, that's odd, it's usually full.  As I get my bike and gear ready I notice the wind.  Damn, the weatherman was right this time, it's windy, maybe it will stop.   I head west to Hermann, it's just under 49 miles.  I plan a quick stop at the gas station just a few blocks from the Katy to re-water, re- Butt'r, and refuel.  I didn't have a time finishing goal in mind, but had an idea of where I wanted to be. (Should have factored the wind)  My main focus was to stay on the bike and just get the miles done.  Little did I know, what kind of mental fortitude was going to be necessary to complete this.  I had no idea the actual effort that was going to be required, physical or mental.  My mind tried to screw me so many times.... It repeated awful things to try to get me to stop and give up.  Over and over I heard "just turn around", "go home and do anything but this", and "you suck, why are you still pedaling". It's a good thing I am stubborn and can let such things roll off my back.

My first hour ticked off relatively quickly.  I was able to maintain a 13.7 mph into the nasty headwind.  I felt like I could maintain that pace all day.  Then something happend, I stopped.  I didn't even have time to get all full of myself,  I was only able to maintain that speed for an hour.  As I reached Dutzow I stopped to take a photo and check in with Jim.  He gave me props and told me to get back out there.  I remember mentioning I may cut it short and just do laps of Busch Wildlife to make up the difference.  This is where my mind starting playing tricks with me.  By this point I had only seen two people.  My attention was drawn to watching the huge black birds/vultures circling me.  Was I going so slow that I looked like injured prey?  Why did they keep following me?  Would they attack if I stopped?  The mind throws a LOT of questions at me when I am alone. Can you imagine how loud my mind is?  Ummm, no, you can't.

Good spot to refuel


At several points during this ride I channeled my favorite Spinning instructor, Kelly.  She says stuff like "You feel good, you look good", "you are fast, you are pedaling smooth", and "you are strong, you can do this".  Normally I would love to hear these things, but all I could manage was yelling "SHUT UP KELLY" into the wind.  I did not feel good, I was pedaling like I was stuck in cement, and I felt like I had the strength of a wet over-cooked noodle.  Ugh!

I have to say that the Warbird handles the wind a lot better than my Kona.  I can't quite put it into words yet, but think of a hot knife a butter. The geometry of this bike is different so maybe that's it.  I also love the way the handlebars flare out.  Being in the drops is quite comfortable and gives me different hand positions, that seem to take the pressure off my shoulders also, if that makes sense. 

I came up with several alternatives to cut my ride short. My first idea was to ride to Marthasville, 25 miles, turn around and pick up the extra 50 miles riding the Hamburg and Busch Wildlife.  When I got to the  Marthasville trailhead my legs kept pedaling past it. Wait!  I thought I was stopping here?  My mind was screaming at me  "WHAT!?! YOU THINK THIS IS HARD, THIS IS BORING, YOUR LONELY, YOUR LEGS HURT...."  And then it was "Geez, if you can't handle this how are you going to fare at the Dirty Kanza" ?  So, I  pedaled onward.  



My mind was going to torture me, I should have turned around when I could.  Things went from bad to worse as I pedaled.  I saw only two people out walking this stretch, I was starting to really feel lonely when my husband texted me to ask me if I had turned around yet.  I was immediately pissed because I was still about two miles out.  Doesn't he know how hard I am working here????  Who the hell is he to think I am quicker than I am?  I dial his number immediately.

I called to make him listen to my heavy breathing, to make him understand how freaking hard this was.  He had no idea how  I was working my ass off.  I also tried to sound like I was having a good time.  He knows me well and saw right through my charade.   He knew I was having a rough day, he knew I was suffering.  I was alone, a little chilly, and just not wanting to pedal anymore.  My mind chuckled "you better have enough ass to get yourself back home".   

After reaching McKitrick I ride off the Katy to the BP for water and some fresh Butt'r.  Jim informed me that I should have a tailwind out of Hermann, which I did for about five miles.  I hate when he says "you are going to have a great flight home" because it never happens. The winds seem to turn on me, every time.  By the time I hit Trelor I had some serious wind in the face and gusting crosswinds. I was blown from one side of the trail to the other side, over and over again. I was tired and developing a bad attitude by this point.  Music always helps so I hit play.  First song was For Those About to Rock by AC/DC.  I immediately feel better and my spirit is lifted. My focus drifts from being alone, hurting and miserable to staying upright, drinking, and eating.  I was pleasantly surprised that the rice cakes were so awesome and sustained me.  Here is the recipe.  I will be adding a desert rice cake to my next ride.  I will be trying this recipe also. 







I used music for the last two hours, I hadn't seen anyone for several hours and needed to hear voices. The beat of the music helped me pedal faster and the time seem to pass quicker.   I couldn't believe how long this 100 miler was taking me, I figured I would have been home by now eating dinner. Damn, I add hungry to the list.  My mind takes this opportunity to let me know how slow I am, like I need a reminder.  I allow my mind to beat me up as I am too tired to fight it.  Yes, I am slower than most but I will get there, eventually I will cross the line.  My inner vice starts yelling at me "PICK UP THE PACE, PEDAL, PEDAL FASTER, PEDAL HARDER".  I look down at my Garmin and see I have 15 miles left.  YES!  Finally, I am almost done, well in about an hour.  

I was never so happy to see my 1998 Jeep Wrangler. I rode into the empty parking lot and felt broken, yet accomplished.  Even though I had many moments of self doubt I finished, I got it done.  I can only hope that this ride makes me stronger, mentally and physically.  I did learn a few critical bits of information that will be handy for the Dirty Kanza.  Plus, I got to ride the Warbird!  Damn, that bike is fun, even when it's not fun.






This beautiful hunk of FRESH salmon was waiting for me when I got home.  Than you Scott Nelson for the hook up.  I didn't even mind cooking it, it was absolutely delicious.  I am not ashamed to admit I ate like a savage right off the foil and not using a plate.  Hell, I'm not sure if a fork was involved.  












Saturday, April 11, 2015

Ride Like A Rhinocerus





It was already Thursday.  Our week in Florida was ending a day early by our choice.  The Midwest was in major rainstorm mode and we didn't want to drive for hours in it.   My husband took my hand in his as we walked our last walk along the white sandy beaches.  The kids were far ahead and I wished we didn't have to leave yet.  I was ready to return to normal, home,  and get back to training but I felt unsatisfied somehow.   Don't get me wrong, I had a super time while in Florida but felt I hadn't found "that one shell",  you know a special really cool one. It was looking like it just wasn't meant to be.  We could see the kids at the car as we stepped onto the small boardwalk that lead to the parking lot.  I had my head down, feeling a little defeated,  when I saw it!!  I saw a small plastic animal figure sticking out of the sand and reached over to grab it.  My husband laughed and said "I see you have found your spirit animal".


What the heck is this........



 As I looked down in my hand I wondered what finding a small plastic rhino meant. Was the rhino my spirit animal?   Over the years I have found several stuffed or plastic animals during my rides.  I had never given it much thought until Jim mentioned it this time. The first animal I found was an elephant.  Dumbo the stuffed elephant was small and fit easily inside my jersey pocket so I scooped him up. I put him in the wash and he was good as new. He went on many rides and Adventure races until his replacement was found.  My first two years of pedaling were the hardest and I figured it was good to be an elephant... aren't they known for being smart and powerful? Maybe for being a little stubborn too?


 I know zero facts about rhino's so thank goodness for Google.   Zilch, nada.  I was surprised to find out that the rhino and I did have a few things in common, maybe he is my spirit animal after all??   The first thing I learned was that I do not want to ride with other rhinos.  A group of rhinos is called a crash, definitely don't want that, LOL  The next tidbit I saw was that they are herbivores, they eat only vegetation... similar to my 'mostly plants' no meat diet. Next,  rhinos have very thick skin, but it's sensitive.  Another similarity.   They tend to cover themselves in mud to avoid sunburn, been there, done that.   Rhinos are also considered speed machines, they run speeds of 30-40 mph.  Now this is where our similarities end.   I am by no means a speed demon but I can get up and go if necessary.  My sprinting is there.... Just don't expect me to hang on to it for long.  However, I guess a rhino wouldn't be able to hold that pace for 200 miles either.  Perhaps I just need to add some speed when I can, like on the flats.  With a 34/50T set up I expect to hit some new flat and downhill speeds.  Wahoooo!




Tomorrow, Sunday April 11th, I will ride in my first organized race since June of last year.  I am a little nervous but I am sure that will let go after I start pedaling.  The Tour Of Hermann is a favorite race of mine.  One year I will be able to make a weekend out of it.   I also have not completed the days entire ride, not ever. Something always happened to keep me from it.  The first year I didn't pedal fast enough and wouldn't have been home in time to relieve my sitter.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I plan to change my previous TOH attempts, I am ready... I think, to tackle the entire 100 plus.  The weather is supposed to be beautiful and I have a super, fantastic new ride.  I would love to feel the wind at my back at some point but beyond that I have no special requests.

Ride like a rhino

 I have no idea what my mileage per hour will be since I just bought a Garmin and haven't been able to track it. The first loop is just over 52 miles and the second is just over 53 miles.  Ideally, I would like to be done with the first loop around 12:30 but will take what I can get.  I have motivation!!!  My husband spent the weekend at an Ozark Trail event and will be joining me in Hermann and giving me a ride home.  Isn't that sweet?



  

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Well, That Fucking Sucks!

Last year it seemed that my body was plagued with issues right from the get go.  I started off January with some very painful tooth issues and went in to February full throttle with  15 kidney stones.  Antibiotics were a constant in my system those first three months, nauseous was my middle name. My body felt weak and my head was not in a good place.  Thankfully,  I was able to get myself together to have a descent April and May, only to fall apart in June.  Such is life.

The 2015 year has been off to a good start and I have not been to the hospital, dentist, or doctor yet. Yay!  It's been 4 months. While I have that going for me... I have a feeling that being a devoted Mom will get me this year and I am alright with that.  It seems my 9yr old daughter possesses gymnastic talent and I will miss Cedar Cross and she has a special run (Read, Right, and Run) scheduled for April 11th so I will miss the first day of Tour of Hermann Gravel.  I am not bitching, really I'm not in case it comes off that way.  I had race challenges last year also, attended a wedding and missed Cedar Cross. The good news is that a 2016 CC showing looks good, so far.

I have a lot of new goodness to bring to the table this year and am very stoked to get this party started and start representing.  My freaking wonderful husband of 16yrs bought me a '16 Salsa Warbird!!  New shoes! and a Garmin 305! I am truly starting out like a  spoiled brat and I like it.  New gear is awesome.  I also have a new team to rep this year... I am proud to wear the Extreme 'ladybug' Electrical kit, so get a good look at it if you are in Hermann on Sunday.  The jersey has some great sponsors on it, a blog with details and links is already in the works.

Weeeeellllll, enough about me.  Let's get to the 'meat' of this post.  Let's get to the, "well, that fucking sucks" part.  For the past several years I have watched my husband grimace in pain after trail build outings, a long bike ride, or just from reaching behind him.  I have heard him cry out and try and suck it up for so long it seems normal to me, and to him.  The photo below was taken at the  2014 Dirty Kanza 200.  He was on top of the world right?  Wrong.

Photo by Eric Benjamin The Adventure Monkey


Shortly after this photo was taken he bunny hopped something and tore his right bicep.  He immediately pulled the bike over and took this photo and posted to FaceBook.  





He wrote this: 
  
                                                                                               May 31, 2014 · 
 
                                                                                                
Didn't have that knot on top to start the race. One too many bunny hops. Cool this my shoulder don't hurt any longer. #ttmexpeditions

He made it to mile 50 and called it a day.  He became part of my pit crew and helped me achieve my goal.  I am very grateful for that.  I am also very grateful that he thought of me and my DK race and scheduled his surgery so he could still be my pit crew.  Yup, I said surgery, keep reading.




Jim changed his shirt

Jim went through the next few months behaving as usual, trail building, fat bike riding, kayaking and the like, he ignored the pain.   All of this was well and good until late February.  The pain became something 'different', and it wouldn't go away.  The smallest, tiniest of movements would be quite painful and he was always sore.  It was difficult to watch.  Hell, he couldn't lift his arm over his head.  After a trip to the best surgeon in the Midwest it was decided that rotator cuff surgery needed to be scheduled.  Surgery is April 13th, just a few days away.  I gave him the entire week and weekend to basically do whatever he wanted since he will be down for a minute. I am sure he will get in one last hurrah, hopefully side by side with me at Hermann.

Speaking of 'being down for a minute'.... Jim is a very smart man.  I overheard him tell my brother that he bought me the Warbird to insure I feed him, LOL  He is having his right cuff repaired and he is right handed.  This gave me the giggles until he mentioned other things that he does with his right hand... I am going to let your imagination run with that one.  He is definitely going to have to learn a couple left handed things. *wink  *smirk

Having been injured myself I understand some of the bullshit he is going to feel.  The actual physical pain is one thing to deal with.  Then there's the pain in watching everyone else ride their bikes, go on adventures, and do all the stuff you want to do, that is the tough part.  It sucks to watch others have fun when you can't, it's just that simple.  This poor guy has to live in the same house with me and watch me train for the DK.  He will be in a chair and I will be out riding.  That is also a mind-fuck for me.  How am I supposed to be enjoying myself and focusing on my goal when I know he is in considerable pain and not able to join me???  (That is another blog in itself)

Watching from the sidelines can deliver a healthy dose of mental pain.  I ended up in the ER on my very first ride,  I was out of commission for 4 months.  I watched my hubby bike through June, July, August, September, and October. There was so many times I wanted to shove that 'shit-eating' grin down his throat. I hated feeling like a vegetable because I couldn't do what I wanted and it sucked.  I remember my very first night home from that week long stay in the hospital quite vividly.   He made me get up and go for a walk around the block.  I hated him at the time for suggesting it.  I was in a ridiculous amount of pain, I was exhausted,  and there was a chance I might frighten small children with all my scratches and bruises. I was a sight.  He even insisted I put on my own shoes.   After I had time to process what that asshole did I realized it was for my own good. I was only a 'little broken', actually I was only as broken as I chose to be.   "Be happy with what you CAN do and do it". Just because I couldn't ride a bike didn't mean I couldn't walk.  It was a very poor substitute but it was better than doing nothing.

I am having trouble picking out my nurses outfit.  White or black?
























As of right now we are accepting good vibes and superior mojo .  Prayers for a quick recovery are also welcome.

If you see me in Hermann say hello.

Happy Graveling,
Wendy