Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Apology

I know you are upset with me.
You have every right to be.
I should have come to you.
I should have told you sooner, but, I was afraid of hurting you.
I know we can work this out.
We can talk about anything.
I regret that you found out the way you did.
I should not have tried to keep it from you.
Yes, you deserved to know.
I thought I was doing what was best for you.
I was only trying to protect you. Take care of you.
Now, I have a hard time looking at you.
I should have handled this better.
I cant imagine how you feel.
After everything you have done for me.
And I treat you like this.
We have spent some serious time together.
We had some wonderful days/nights together.
I have never been in this situation and did not know what to do.
Please know that this hurts me as much as its hurting you.
We have experienced our share of pain and pleasure this year.
Sometimes in the same day.
You have always been there for me.
You have been so strong, for me, this year.
You taught me to Never give up.
You made sure I had no excuses not to finish.
You have given me so much and I just want to return the favor.
Yes, I have treated you badly, and you did not deserve it.
Yes, you deserve an explanation.
As much as it hurts me to say this,
We wont be spending very much time together.
I know this will be hard for you, try not to be jealous.
I know its hard for you to understand, but I hope one day you will.
I find you truly amazing. I really do.
But,I want to be better for you.
Of course that makes sense.
I heard you say "Yo bitch, I'm over here" the other day
I could hear the pain in your voice.
I had no right to just roll "that bike" into YOUR garage.
I was wrong.
However,"that bike" is not your replacement.
No way!
I guarantee you that "that bike" will not turn me into a pu$$y.
In these past 2 weeks I have found new legs, endless legs.
I have also tapped into new lungs,lots of lungs, I did not know I possessed.
If it makes you feel better, I am using Him to be better for you.
I know we will get through this rough patch.
Trust me , this is for our own good.
You are still my go to guy.
Without you I am nothing.
Big things are coming in 2011.
Get your rest, you are gonna need it.
I Love you Connor.

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