F*ck You Kidney Stones

***Edited**

Pardon the title.  I am feeling a little jacked up from the pain meds.

This past Sunday was shaping up to be a very pretty day.  It's January and over 50 degrees in MO.  My daughter and I were planning on returning videos and taking a bike ride around the neighborhood. Around noon things went south, I took an Advil liqui-gel and hoped it would pass. Fuck!  The pain is  not stopping. Then it came to me..... I have felt this before. (First rodeo here)

I had made arrangements with a neighbor to watch Sydney and I would drive myself to Urgent Care, that was the plan anyway.  She needed to run to the store so I got myself ready to go.  I called Urgent Care and guess what?  They don't do kidney stones, they don't have to correct machines. Wonderful!  Guess I will have to go to the ER.  I didn't want my daughter to be frightened so I explained what was going on and showed her Kenny in the jar from last time.  She laughed and said "Ewww" and went of to read in her room.  I shut my door, put on my "special socks" and collapsed in absolute agony on my bed.

Within a matter of minutes I could feel myself absolutely falling apart.  The pain is excrusiating and you would do ANYTHING to make it stop. Everything is happening all at once. As the pain shoots throughout my body my eyes roll in the back of my head.  Fuck, I am going to throw up, I don't do that.  I stumbled running through the house to get to the back deck.  There was no way I was throwing up in the house, Jim can't clean it up so I would have had to.  The cold air felt good and bad at the same time.  I started taking off my clothes, I was sweating like it was 110 degrees.  I didn't want my neighbors to see me so I braced myself on the side of the house and climbed partially under the deck and puked in a hole. There was still some snow on the ground and it felt good to lay down in it.  I could not believe the pain, it's like you have no control to stop it.  Scary!  I started to cool down and stopped throwing up after about 5 minutes.  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

When my neighbor returned she was kind enough to take me to the ER and take care of my girl and feed her dinner. I entered the ER feeling better instantly noticing they were not busy. When I told the nurse why I was here she said " I am so glad you are not a man, they are the biggest whiners".  She brought me to room #16 .  Shortly after my arrival I met Dr. Mark and Angela, my nurse.  She took my blood and forced a shot of morphine on me.  I tried to refuse it but she insisted saying that Dr Mark ordered it and she had to give it to me.  I really didn't want it but I took it.  ( I was on a morphine drip for 6 days once, didn't care for it)  Admittedly, I started to feel better. 

My hubby, who had been gravel riding, showed up about ten minutes later. I breathed a sigh of relief.  He has seen me like this before so he's not too worried.  I am just glad I was not on that ride with him, can you imagine?  After a scan or three, it was determined......   What I thought was just a tender groin muscle is a kidney stone. Awesome!

 The stone is ready to launch at any time.  Oh, lucky me.  Dr. Mark said I had so many stones the techs  said "screw it and just put multiple".   Multiple is not an answer.  Jim and I convinced the nurse to count those bastards.  It was incredibly weird for me to look at my insides and see "stuff" that is not supposed to be there.  She counted, and counted and, counted.   Final tally was 15!  Can you fucking believe that?  I am in awe. Seriously?  Apparently I am doing something that is growing them.  Great!  It turns out I also was gifted a UTI by this jagged bastard. Double whammy, glad I caught it early. Seven days of antibiotics, ugh.  Not looking forward to the Hydrocodone either.  It makes me feel funny, not in a ha ha type of way.

Today is day FOUR!  I have really had enough you little bastard.  I will be wearing my 'special socks' all day.  Get out of my body! NOW!!   Let's compare you to your brother Kenny.

Kenny!  He is small but has hooks 

**Edit
I hopped on my trainer for about 45 minutes this afternoon, I pedaled as hard and as fast as the pain allowed.  I hopped on my foam roller and tried to roll it out, no dice.

Kona and Kinetic duo

Later that evening I gave the kids baths and tucked them in. Very happy when 9:54pm rolled around and Kris popped out! I could feel it, probably would have felt it more if I was a dude though.  I took a shot of him next to Kenny, the black dot.  As you can see they do not look alike.

Closeup

Kenny and Kris

 I have an appt. on Thursday to find out why all this craziness is happening.  Fourteen to go!
I took the last of my antibiotics and finally got a celebratory beer Sat night.

Actually... I AM WORTHY this time!

Chamois Butt'r Three Reviews For The Blog Of One

It was a good day to be a girl! The nice folks at Chamois Buttr gave out FULL size tubes ( a $15.99 value) of Her Butt'r at the Dirty Kanza 200.  This venue was the perfect place to unveil their new product and and even better place for me to try it out.  I had not seen it or used it prior to this race.

 Just so you know... I have not been compensated, in any way, shape or form to give my opinion. The following are my opinions on three products made by Chamois Butt'r. I have used all three products for approximately six months to form my opinion.


Chamois Butt'r HER Butt'r

When I first started cycling there was a lot of grin and bear it and some screams from the shower. I thought it was just one of those things I would have to get used to.  I enjoyed riding my bike for longer periods of time however my vagina was hating it. The friction of saddle and shorts was at times unbearable, especially if my skin was already irritated.  Was I going to have to suck it up?  Not for long.....

I finally educated myself about creams and gels that would cure my problem.  I ended up trying all kinds of stuff. You know what I've found out?  Some body lubes were great, some not so great, some burned, others smelled funny, some were sticky/greasy, and many would not wash out of my chamois.  I wasn't trying to be picky but I am not just going to put anything down there. Neither should you.

Her Butt'r was designed by a female sports doctor and been tested on many female cyclists before coming to market.  The formula is Ph balanced and contains premium ingredients such as tea tree oil, shea butter, and lavendar oil to name a few.  I did not find it greasy or sticky and it washed out of my shorts completely.  It did not burn or smell funny, the scent is light and smells of lavendar.

The morning of the Dirty Kanza I slathered it on and passed it off to my pit crew.  At mile 100 I reapplied as a just in case measure since I had 100 plus to go.  I was on my bike for 19 hours and 30 minutes.  I did not feel any chafing during the ride but you never know the extent of the damage until you hit the shower.  There was no screaming.  There were no chafe marks. My experience with  Her Butt'r was a success. I will use this product again and recommend it to all female cyclists.  Fellas....  You could be a hero and buy her a tube.  Plus, you can use it too, even though it was made with the ladies in mind.

CB stock photo

Chamois Butt'r Sports Kit Wash

Cycling kits are expensive.  My goal is to keep my spandex around as long as I can.  You have to take proper care of it.  I would NEVER throw it in the dryer or use ordinary, fragrant filled detergents.  I tried Chamois Butt'rs kit wash for the first time after a mountain bike ride this summer.  First, I smelled it and was happy to notice it had a light, clean scent, almost citrusy. I poured two capfuls into about a gallon of water in the sink.  I let them soak for about ten minutes, overkill but you don't know my husband, he finds dirt. I squeezed the wash through the fabric, do not twist or rub.  After that all you do is rinse thoroughly, don't worry...the washing solution comes out quickly.  Hang dry or lay it flat. Easy peasy.

Since this wash does not require a lot of water you could easily pack it along for bike packing.  I took it camping and found it works well with swim suits and other technical clothing.  It's really priceless to wake up to a fresh smelling kit instead of praying it doesn't stink too bad or give you a nasty skin rash.



Chamois Butt'r Sports Wash

How many times have you had to get into your car and drive home covered with sweat, blood, and dirt? Or maybe you were covered in embro and what it might do to the seats?  Or maybe you just like to be clean while getting your podium shots?  Either way, you need this stuff.

I started using this sports wash in June of 2013.  I liked the bottle, complete with convenient sprayer for easy coverage.  I carry baby wipes and added this wash to my after ride clean-up.  The product smelled nice and applied easily.  My skin felt fresh and tingly.  I was really surprised at how it cut through the grit and grime I was covered in. I was also surprised my skin felt soft, not dry at all.   This wash has afforded me comfortable rides home, kept my car cleaner, and was great to take on camping/hiking trips.



All of the items above retail for $15.99.  I imagine each would last me about a year, give or take, which is a small price to pay to be comfortable, look good , and smell nice.  Wouldn't you agree?

Happy Winter Riding,
Sasha