Saturday, August 16, 2014

Yoga Pants

This story took place last year, December 2013, around Christmas-time.  I had been working my tail off at the gym trying to get in shape for the Dirty Kanza.  My husband couldn't keep his hands off me, which is great when you have been married 15 years. Normally Jim does not tell me what to wear but after seeing me in Victoria Secret yoga pants he forbade me to wear them in public.  Now I usually listen to my husband but found this to be a ridiculous request.  I could wear what I want , when I want.  After all I am 44 years old.

One day while wearing said yoga pants I had to run to Walgreens.  I planned to grab a few things and get home, it was freezing.  I had a hoodie on, hood and all to cover my head and ears.  I am in the gum aisle minding my own business, bent over the gum making my selection... when all of a sudden someone grabs my ass, I mean REALLY grabs my ass. Both hands, both cheeks.  Now I am not expecting this, I have no idea who just grabbed my rear, my hubby is at home.   I quickly clench a fist and get ready to throw a punch when I turn around to see a beautiful 18ish year old girl.  Long brown hair and wild eyed staring back at me. She has a "What the hell did I just do" look about her.   She immediately starts to apologize.

Her: I am so sorry (mortified but smiling)

Me:  ( BIG eyes, I almost hit you)  Whoa, why did you grab my butt?

Her:  I thought you were my friend, Jennifer from school, we are in the same grade.

Me:  Wait a sec, school?   What grade are you in?

Her:  I am a Senior at FZH. Again, I am so sorry.

Me:  How can I be mad at someone who thinks I have a high school ass?

Her: (Speechless, eyes still a bit unsure of the situation)

Me:   ( HUGE smile, I want to hug her) Really, no worries.

Her:  Merry Christmas

Me:  Merry Christmas

When I got home I immediately informed my husband what happened.  He laughed and said that was the reason why he didn't want me to wear the VS yoga pants in public.  How did he know some 18 yr old girl was going to grab my ass in Walgreens?

Ps.  I can't wait to break those out this Fall.

Bless the creator of yoga pants, they made a 45 yr old ass look 18!

1 comment:

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